


my one and only muse

by dejakyu (dietsoba)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Artists, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 08:56:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19742365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dietsoba/pseuds/dejakyu
Summary: Baekhyun cant get enough of drawing Jongdae.





	my one and only muse

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this while procrastinating and also while waiting at the doctor’s office. it’s based on a twitter prompt. i only sort of edited but enjoy :)

Baekhyun stared blankly at the sight before him: Jongdae, sprawled out comfortably on the carpet before him amidst artistically littered cds and cassette tapes, glinting in the soft afternoon light. He didn’t look any different from how he usually looked; his clothes were loose and casual with his navy t-shirt just tight enough to show his small frame and his jeans just big enough to be comfortable. His brown hair, for once actually styled, was brushed to the side and fell gently onto his forehead. Beneath the fringe, Jongdae wore a groggy, post-nap smile as he played with one of the tapes. Piece by piece, the scene before him curated the relaxed aura his art instructor had demanded they capture with their art. 

Jongdae's languid, relaxed state should be something intensely familiar to Baekhyun, given the amount of years they spent attached to each others’ hips, but Baekhyun still managed to find something new and different about it to capture. No matter what context, Baekhyun could never get enough of drawing Jongdae, even if he struggled endlessly to reconcile the Jongdae in his mind and the one he saw with the one he caught on paper. Jongdae's true essence was impossible to depict and the images he produced were pale reflections of the real thing, and his unrewarded efforts left him frustrated beyond belief. How was he supposed to capture the portrait of sparkling joy that was Jongdae’s face mid-laugh; his pout, which constantly had Baekhyun ready to give him the world and then some; and his smoulder, that should have been amusing but recently gave Baekhyun chills, finding he wished himself on the receiving end. There was so little between them that wasn’t shared, so little he never saw or wasn't used to, he couldn’t understand why he couldn't draw Jongdae the way he always was. Of course, that's also why he never stopped trying.

Drawing Jongdae came with varying degrees of difficulty for Baekhyun, and each set-up came with it's own limitations. Drawing him from memory brought out what Baekhyun considered to be the closest representations of how he saw Jongdae in his mind, but they were far from accurate and never more than vague sketches with fragments of memory and emotion attached. From afar, while Jongdae wasn't paying attention, was a considerably more rewarding endeavour. Despite feeling like he was in the midst of a field study on Jongdae–which in some ways he was–he saw a lot of things he wouldn't have noticed while interacting. In this way he captured many of Jongdae's habits, expressions, and relationships. His observation drawings held so much essence but they were also quick and messy and uncertain; he was left unsatisfied. The best part of these methods, in Baekhyun's opinion, was the fact that Jongdae was completely unaware as each piece of art was completed.

Every effort Baekhyun threw into Encapsulating every single piece that formed a complete Jongdae, was even harder to pinpoint when his attentions were directed at Baekhyun specifically. Though he worked in neater, tighter lines of graphite, it was more intimate and arresting to be observed, even casually, as he drew. It brought an emotional connection to his art that was otherwise rarely present. Baekhyun lost himself in Jongdae’s presence; he became hyper-aware of every mole, every curve, every flaw that only served to make him all the more fascinating. Every time he looked, he found something new, even if it was the smallest section of stubble he missed that morning or the marks of his textbook imprinted on his arm from where he’s slept on it during class. All of the minute details that formed a whole Jongdae were a heady drink that he couldn’t get enough of.

A posing, ready Jongdae, who was fully prepared and willing to be drawn, was the deadliest of all. His heart had raced and he silently rejoiced, when Jongdae reluctantly agreed to sit for him today and wait to be drawn. Alone in an empty studio, they were settled in their respective spots: Jongdae on Baekhyun’s carefully arranged set and Baekhyun behind the desk littered with his drawing pencils. In theory, Baekhyun had control of the way Jongdae spread out before him, even if he'd given Jongdae the freedom to get comfortable first. In practice, the nerves hiding beneath the surface threatened to engulf him, but only if his hormones, running wild as he watched Jongdae move his hips for comfort, didn't do so first. Baekhyun's hands went cold and shook as he gripped his pencils tight to hold them steady. Repurposing the warmth from his fingers, his face felt like flames burned beneath the surface, shining beacon red for all to see; all meaning Jongdae specifically.

A few sessions of Jongdae sitting in as his model had left Baekhyun in a state of crisis. Every time his pencil dipped to emphasize the curve of Jongdae’s narrow waste, he found he could picture himself running his hands along it, wanting to draw it, as if that could somehow will it into reality. The desire continued as Baekhyun pencils moved from detail to detail, and he admired his subject in every way shape and form. His job would have been easier and temptations harder to resist were Jongdae not an animated subject. As Baekhyun drew, Jongdae rambled on about any and all subjects that made drawing his face nearly impossible. Baekhyun didn’t mind, of course, he liked listening to Jongdae speak. He could listen to, debate with, and laugh his ass off with Jongdae, until he was warm and content. This final way of drawing Jongdae brought the best results, but took so much of Baekhyun's willpower and energy that even setting them up was difficult.

In truth, he didn’t need to ask Jongdae to pose every time; they had plenty of models ready for hire that were able to do the job just as well. But Jongdae, occasionally decent best friend that he was, always agreed whenever Baekhyun asked, even if it was with great reluctance. However, the intimacy of having Jongdae model all was having a lingering affect the more it continued. Baekhyun’s’s heart was just on the brink of admitting to himself something he’d long held in secret, even if he had no idea what to do with it. The longer Baek drew him, the more he feared Jongdae was watching him and was able to see through his facade to the feelings Baekhyun had hidden away. He argued that Jongdae was special, unique in a way the others weren’t. His familiarity allowed to bring out more of Jongdae than anyone else. That should have been the first clue, Baekhyun thought in retrospect. Jongdae had somehow become his muse without batting an eye, capturing his attention until he was ruined for all else there was to draw.

Baekhyun was drawn from his thoughts and his cautious erasing of errant lines when Jongdae moved from position, letting his head flop to the side with a groan. “Are you almost done yet? I’m starving.”

Baekhyun could almost hear the grumble of Jongdae’s near bottomless stomach from where he sat on the other side of the room. He looked down at his drawing, which still disappointed him deeply, though it was not as bad as previous attempts. Distracted from his art, the pain in his own stomach made itself known, and he was tempted to give in and eat with Jongdae. But Baekhyun had a deadline and it was drawing nearer. He would have to resort to bribery that was stronger than cheap ramen to make it up to Jongdae if they went as late as he intended. He really didn't have enough money for nice food but he might have to make some sacrifices.

“You can’t rush art Jongdae,” Baekhyun said, smoothing out the line that followed the curve of his leg muscle, just visible under the jeans he wore. “I’m almost finished enough to get some work done on my own. Just…wait a little and don’t move or it’ll be even longer.”

Jongdae returned to his position, brows furrowed even deeper than before and his body tense with frustration. He was not impressed, but there was little Baekhyun could do. Besides, he helped out Jongdae whenever he needed it at the drop of a hat, more or less. Sometimes, he hated every minute of it but spending quality time with his friend made up for it. Fortunately, he genuinely enjoyed helping out with choir and planning music lessons for Jongdae’s stints in the classroom as a student teacher and didn't need an excuse.

“Please Baek, my stomach feels like a black hole. I am in _pain.”_ Jongdae was truly whining now, and it was only a matter of time before it became so annoying Baekhyun would be forced to listen whether he wanted to or not. He was still strong enough to resist this level of pouting for now and only hummed a response before continuing his drawing.

“You’re impossible,” Jongdae muttered under his breath.

Baekhyun smiled fondly. “I’ll pay this time, since you helped.” This caused Jongdae’s expression to brighten immediately. He was going to pay anyway but the brilliant smile made his stomach flutter. He was tempted to exchange the sleepy expression his drawing of Jongdae wore for that smile, but this was an assignment and he had "objectives."

“We can eat now,” Baekhyun said, half-an-hour later, putting down his pencils and putting his arms up to stretch his back. His eyes had slid closed in pleasure, missing the way Jongdae watched as the bottom of his shirt rode up to reveal a sliver of soft skin just below the hemline. He missed much of they way Jongdae looked at him a large amount of the time.

When Baekhyun finally opened his eyes, Jongdae was already standing by the desk…holding his drawing. “Baek…,” he started to say, shoulders shaking and mouth clamped shut.

Baekhyun made a squawk of surprise and anger and his face heated up even faster than before, if that was even possible. He scrambled to snatch the notebook from Jongdae's hands and pull it to his chest. “Shut up, you know I can’t draw well; you shouldn’t hold beginners up to such high standards. I think I captured your mouth perfectly,” Baekhyun said defensively.

Jongdae frowned, trying to get another look at the drawing, “I can’t tell you more if you if you don’t show me Baek,” he said, trying to reach for it across Baekhyun’s body. “It really wasn’t that bad, I just…ngh…didn’t know what to expect. Come on Baek, let me…ngh…see!!”

Baekhyun’s body heated up just as his face had from Jongdae’s close proximity. Leaning against the desk and holding the stiff notebook out of Jongdae’s grasping hands forced Jongdae to lean in further and further to get his hands on it. In doing so, he pressed his body–the body Baekhyun had just before been worshipping through art–flush against Baekhyun’s, his curving inwards as Baekhyun’s curved away.

Unable to handle the situation any longer, Baekhyun relented and handed Jongdae his sketchbook, the cloud of self-consciousness re-forming itself above his head. Nervous as he was about Jongdae seeing his drawing, he hadn’t realized Jongdae had begun flipping carefully through the other pages, pages that contained his tens of drawings of Jongdae in every possible light.

Jongdae’s eyes flickered up to Baekhyun’s. Baekhyun’s palms began to sweat and he intertwined them to calm his anxious thoughts. “Baek…” Jongdae said, his voice low and thick with something Baekhyun couldn’t quite understand yet. “You drew all of this?”

Baekhyun nodded. He didn’t trust himself to speak, there was too much to ruin if he said the wrong thing. He couldn’t simply refuse giving an answer to Jongdae, the current centre of his world. “Yes, you’re all I want to draw, all I ever want to draw. It’s…I…it's strange, isn’t it? I dunno why that is…ha ha,” Baekhyun trailed off, an awkward smile stretched across his fact. He didn’t want to scare Jongdae away–that was the last thing he wanted–but his instinct to lighten the atmosphere was ingrained in his personality.

Jongdae leafed through the book again, eyeing Baekhyun’s hands as if expecting Baekhyun was ready to take it back before he has his fill. Jongdae focused on his aimless drawings, those he did spontaneously. Jongdae looking out a window with a wistful expression as they discussed the future, Jongdae collapsed on the grass after being dragged to play soccer in the heat of July, whining about something or another, Jongdae smiling after nailing a song and preparing to sing it again, just in case. He couldn’t look away.

“They’re pretty good don’t you think?” Baekhyun asked, still nervous.

Jongdae looked up at him wearing a smirk. Baekhyun blinked in surprise, not expecting that reaction. “Your life drawing could use some work if this is everything else, you couldn’t even get my ass right.”

Baekhyun shoved at Jongdae's shoulders without really meaning it. The way Baekhyun rolled his eyes, even as he tried not to smile, made Jongdae smile and laugh. “How am I supposed to fit it on the page?” he asked, scowling with great effort.

Jongdae’s laughed even harder, moving in towards Baekhyun so he could laugh while leaning on his shoulder after closing the book. Baekhyun stiffened at the sudden contact but soon relaxed once Jongdae had him laughing as well. “Guess I’m going to have to work on that one, to figure out the final details,” he said between giggles.

When Jongdae pulled back, he kept an arm on Baekhyun’s shoulder, warm and steadying but somehow also heady. His eyes tracked Jongdae’s adam’s apple as it bobbed along his throat. Baekhyun felt the urge to touch it, to feel it move with his tongue as he pressed kiss after kist against it. Jongdae’s hand clenched Baekhyun’s arm just shy of too tight.

“I can think of a better way to understand the final details.” The words came out of Jongdae’s mouth bold and suggestive but also uncertain, as if he were unsure whether or not Baekhyun would turn him down. Baekhyun nearly made the mistake of doing so, before his brain restarted and truly understood what Jongdae meant by that.

Baekhyun's mind raced a mile a minute after realizing Jongdae might just be into this as well. He felt his heart go wild, felt himself take one step forward, then another, until he was mere centimetres from Jongdae. He had been this close to Jongdae before, they’d been friends forever after all, but, like the calm before the storm, the air was charged and volatile. “Is that an invitation?” Baekhyun asked. He tried to be just as suggestive, but he was unable to keep the caution and uncertainty out of his voice in this unfamiliar territory.

“What do you think Baekhyun? I’ve waited forever for a sign that you liked me back, now I have one,” Jongdae’s smile had hunger to it now. His arms snaked around Baekhyun’s neck until there was no means of escape. Baekhyun loved every second of it. He couldn’t believe Jongdae’s words were true, yet they had to be with Jongdae draped against him, staring intently at his lips.

“Since when,” he breathed.

“Since the first time you watched me with those eyes of yours, looking for everything and anything I had to offer,” Jongdae explained fondly. “I’d never seen your book before, never saw what you’d seen in me every time you drew. I know now, more than ever, that I can’t let someone who sees me like that get away."

Baekhyun was near tears. He couldn’t believe this real, it couldn’t be. “Then I guess we’ll have to set something up so I can improve. I was thinking of taking a sculpting class next semester, so I’m going to need to get a feel for my favourite muse.”

“Oh?” Jongdae said. He was practically glowing and Baekhyun would do anything to capture it on paper forever so he could look at it as much as he wanted, knowing how he felt right then. “Then should we move somewhere with better light so you can get a sense for my everything?”

Baekhyun grinned just as brightly. “My apartment windows all face west. I think sunset would suit you. But for now, we still have time in the studio and I’m not in the mood to draw.”

Baekhyun leaned in and Jongdae tilted his head to meet him in the middle. It was a soft kiss, their first kiss, and they would both describe it as perfect later on. Baekhyun’s art, however, told the truth.

Once they had pressed their lips together softly, getting a feel for each other, and pulled apart, they exchanged a look that was anything but soft. Jongdae pushed Baekhyun against the desk until he was seated on it, Jongdae between his legs. His arms were tangled in Baekhyun’s silvery hair, hot against his scalp as they held him in place.

Baekhyun ran his hands along the curve of Jongdae’s ass, smiling against his mouth as he silently told him he was working to fix his earlier error. When Jongdae reaches down to slap one of his hands that has been wandering in dangerous territory, Baekhyun slid them up to Jongdae’s slim waist and pulled him closer.

Baekhyun then opened his mouth, allowing Jongdae to deepen the kiss. Jongdae immediately proceeded lick into his mouth thorough and languid until Baekhyun moaned and moved his hips forward in search of friction. Meeting Jongdae's crotch with his own, he realized he was in the perfect position to grind against Jongdae. He could practically feel Jongdae’s eyes roll at Baekhyun’s inability to control how horny he was. 

“Can’t you wait?” Jongdae asked when he broke apart to breathe. 

Baekhyun have him a breathy laugh, “Must I?” He left off saying that Jongdae was just as bad, with the massive bruise he'd sucked on Baekhyun's collarbone and the way he'd subtly pressed his hips back.

“I’m not having sex in one of the studios, we’ll never be able to come here again without being reminded of it and I like watching you draw me,” Jongdae said, stroking Baekhyun’s hair to pacify him and gave him a peck on the lips.

Baekhyun hated that he found he couldn’t argue with Jongdae and backed away reluctantly.

“That doesn’t mean we have to stop this,” Jongdae said, keeping him in place.

“Oh,…good then.”

He didn’t have the chance to say anything more than that because Jongdae’s mouth was on his and they had ten minutes left in the studio. He already knew he’d be drawing all night to remember every moment of this; Jongdae during what couldn’t be called anything but a spectacular beginning to something new.

**Author's Note:**

> ** My Twitter [daejakyu](https://twitter.com/daejakyu)  
> ** My [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/daejakyu)


End file.
